i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
