I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
