You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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