The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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