it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
