hotel room ftw
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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