The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
