In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
