Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
