dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
