Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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