Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
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