how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
