I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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