Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
