Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
