I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
