Who wears a wallet chain?!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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