I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize