Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize