They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
