Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
