I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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