how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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