Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
