You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.