you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
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She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
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He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..