Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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