Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
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The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.