Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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