In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet