So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
