you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
