yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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