I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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