so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
