my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
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This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
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don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE