I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I believe in your delicious
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid