I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
is that a dick in a sweater?