She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
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I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
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Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.