i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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