nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
