morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
