hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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