They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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