Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
