Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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