I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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