she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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