SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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