So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
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