I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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