I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You've changed since you got that strap on
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
