420 ftw
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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