walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
