I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
