Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize