Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
