Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize