i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
