Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
