? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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