just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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