You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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