"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
