Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
