On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
